I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Randomize
