Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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