What tipped you off? The sombrero?
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I just want to make out with him forever
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Randomize
