I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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