you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
