She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
