I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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