Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
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