Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
no you cant smoke seaweed
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
