bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
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