It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
