you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Randomize
