Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Randomize
