when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
