if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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