She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
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