Duck Duck Cougar?
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
Randomize
