I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
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