I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
