seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
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