ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
