We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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