I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
