oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
