now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
