my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
