How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Randomize
