i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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