Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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