school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
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