it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
