Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Randomize
