just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Randomize
