how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Randomize
