we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
