Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Randomize
