Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
