for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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