Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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