Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
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