Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Randomize
