Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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