Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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