I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I am spending my child support on dildos
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
