North Korea, Best Korea!
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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