Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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