He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
