You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
