Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Randomize
