You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Randomize
