I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
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