forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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