i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Randomize
