I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
Randomize
