So drunk, too bad you don't want this
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Randomize
