Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
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